It is essential to discuss the good times that I once had with my abuser, Brandon.  Something made me feel attracted to him at first, and abuse was not part of the equation. As mentioned before, Brandon and I started as friends. He was a laid-back guy that never seemed angry. He had a protective demeanor.

Brandon was someone that I could trust. He was a “good” friend to me. He would come over and hang out with Eric, me, and our kids. He seemed to enjoy being around my kids as much as his own daughter.

He was supportive in ways that won my heart. My children were the way to the soft spot of my heart, and he was loving to them. My oldest son received all A’s on his report card, and Brandon went out and bought him new games for his Nintendo DS. This is just one example of many kind acts he demonstrated. My parents were going to have the lights shut off for not paying the bill. Brandon generously paid the bill because my kids were there. There were never any bad moments in the beginning. It was all love and kindness. I could never have imagined that things would turn out so horrible only six months into the relationship.

Whenever I think about the decency of my abuser before he was “my abuser,” it is difficult to put into words. The good times are often overshadowed – this is typical of an abuser – to show up in our lives like Superman wearing a cape.

At first, everything seems so picturesque until the colors of our canvas are stained with the tears of our hurt and pain.

At the beginning of my relationship with Brandon, there was never a moment that I could have anticipated he would turn into a monster. As mentioned in my previous blog, he was so sweet and kind. He was gentle and loving. He never raised his voice or his hand to my children or me. Overall, Brandon was a good man. I have spent the last 11 years wondering where things went wrong. I try to remember when I noticed that he was changing. There is nothing that sticks out to me in the months leading to us moving in together. Often people have asked questions about what made him do the heinous act of murdering my son, and I can’t honestly answer those questions. One day things were good, and then one day, they were not. I had no other good relationships in the past, so Brandon was a catch in my eyes. He treated me better than the man I was with before him. I gave six months of my life to a man that I thought would cherish my children and me. The good times existed but quickly diminished. My past began to impede upon the present the moment I felt the sting of his fist on my face.