Please join our advocacy efforts and pass on your words of wisdom for women in need of guidance and support.
"THE ABUSE BECOMES YOUR NORM"
“You need to leave at the first sign of abuse. The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the more it becomes your norm. Stop thinking about it as being anything else. It’s so crucial you leave at the first sign of violence because your dysfunction becomes your norm.
Your reasons for staying change from year to year. In the beginning, I was ashamed to admit I made a mistake. Then you stay for children. Then you stay for your family. Then you stay for finances. Ultimately, the abuse becomes a way of life.”
"GROWING UP WITH AN ABUSIVE FATHER."
“I grew up with a verbally and emotionally abusive father. My father married my sweet and kind mother because she wanted to be loved, plus my dad knew he could control her.
Unfortunately, my mother allowed my father to abuse her – she always thought he would wake up one day and realize what a great lady he married. It never happened and after 61 years of marriage, my father died without a word of regret or apology to my mom.
My sisters and I would beg my mother to leave him, but she never did. My mother had grown up with an abusive father and didn’t have a good example of what a decent marriage should be or could be. It was sad to realize how an abusive partner can damage the self-esteem of their partner and give a poor example of a healthy relationship to their children.
The experience of my parent’s abusive marriage did damage me. I struggle to have a normal relationship with men. I have been divorced several times and think it has to do with growing up with an abusive father. I live my life with one foot out the door – this is not healthy.
Please don’t suffer in silence or think your children aren’t impacted by an abusive relationship. Do something today to get out; it is never too late to make a change. You deserve a peaceful life.”
"I HAD TO PLAN MY ESCAPE."
“I had to plan my escape. There was no way I could have a civil conversation with him of any kind.
I got a separate bank account and saved money so I could leave. I moved from our house to an apartment. For awhile I was poor and worked two waitress jobs.
But if I hadn’t left, I believe eventually he would have killed me.”
"LOVE IS NOT PAIN."
“I was a battered woman, now I’m a survivor. I know what it feels like to be alone. I know what it feels like to feel as though I could never be free of my abuser.
Seeking help is one of the most courageous things you can do for yourself. Get away from your abuser the first time he hits you, the first time he becomes abusive.
He’s never going to change, it’s only going to get worse.
Do not be sucked into their lies. We all make mistakes, learn from them. Do not beat yourself up. Learn to better yourself, create a fresh start for yourself.
Be a survivor, some do not have that chance.
Don’t be a victim, be a voice!
No matter what walk of life you come from you should be treated with love, respect, admiration. You are beautiful, and unique. You deserve to be loved and cared for.
Love is not pain.
Anyone who treats you less than is not worthy of being in your life. Allow no one to validate who you are. You have a million opportunities in the world, never settle for less.”
"IF I ONLY LOOK BETTER."
“You always think if that if I do something better then he will change. If I fix a meal better, if I look better, then things will improve. Quite frankly, I think it’s inbred in most women to think that we are the ones who have to change for the abuse to stop. It’s a lie that we believe.”
"SAY YOUR PRAYERS! BELIEVE IN MIRACLES."
“Say your prayers! BELIEVE in miracles! Work diligently on your own behalf! Never give up!”
"DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR BAD BEHAVIOR."
“You keep thinking they are going to change and they are not. Don’t make excuses for the bad behavior. Whatever you do, get out of the house!”
"FAMILY DOES NOT ALWAYS SUPPORT YOU."
“When family members tell you it was your fault or you deserve it, then it only makes it worse. And then they tell you to just get over it.”
"I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW SOME BEHAVIOR WAS CONSIDERED ABUSE."
“Looking back I can tell you today that I know from my own experience and from talking to other women that you don’t even know that certain behavior was considered abuse. I think women have been somewhat conditioned to think it’s their fault or they don’t measure up in some way versus automatically knowing that what’s happening to them is considered abuse.”
"WE NEED OUR PARENTS TO TEACH US"
“I started dating my husband when I was 16-years old and in high school. He was four years older than me. I didn’t know he had issues with alcohol at that time. A big red flag I can see now is that he only came around to see me when it was convenient for him. Deep down I knew it and my mother knew it, but she never opened up and talked to me about it. Young girls need their parents to tell them what red flags look like and help steer them in the right direction. I’m in my 70’s today and really want to reach out and tell the young girls what is not acceptable behavior.”
Giving Voices to the Voiceless
Support the #Justice4Women Campaign, which Aims to Advocate for Battered Women in Prison Due to the Double Injustice of the Justice System.
We need the resources to advocate to the Governor and Parole Board, Judges, Prosecutors, Legislators and Law Enforcement.