I loved to socialize and throw get-togethers at my apartment. I always tried to call all our friends and invite them for snacks and beverages.

At first, Mike did not mind, but he became more irritated by them as time went on. He would sit in the room and play on the computer, completely ignoring the room full of guests. Finally, my friends would ask why he did not join in the festivities, to which I had no answer. I would shrug and look apologetic. Again, I did not have an answer other than he did not enjoy crowds and people.

Eventually, the parties stopped altogether. He said I was inconsiderate of his feelings, forcing him to stay in his room. I tried to tell him that he should make an effort to make friends, but he said everyone is not your friend and would not hesitate to stab you in the back. This is why he said he had no friends, which I thought was very sad. I am a very social person and love people. I look for the good always and would not hesitate to help a friend. Mike thought this was a deliberate attempt to put others before him. He would tell me that he would always come first, above all else, if I truly loved him. I started to put that into practice, and if I thought a social event would upset him, I made excuses. In my mind, I was showing my love and loyalty. In his, it was another way to isolate me and control my actions.

Unfortunately for me, it took me a while to realize this.