In Her Own Words: Tina’s Story, Part 1

In Sept 2018, I had a choice to make. Someone was going to die – me and my son or my husband, the man I’ve known for 23 years.

This is the most challenging story I will ever tell, but it needs to be out there. If I can help other survivors of intimate partner violence avoid the pitfalls I’ve been through, it will be worth reliving the pain.

Unfortunately, the stigma of domestic violence is still strong and affects families, friends, and the courts. People have questions they don’t understand – why I didn’t leave sooner and why I loved him. There are so many complexities involved that it usually takes an expert to get people to understand.

Statistics show intimate partner abuse affects 1 in 3 women nationwide. The CDC stated in July 2017 that women are being killed, not by strangers, but by their husbands and boyfriends. This has become a nationwide epidemic.

Somehow my case garnered national support. There were over 200k signatures on my change.org petition. People donated thousands of dollars to help me. And I had a great attorney that negotiated a plea deal, which spared me from spending several years behind bars – unlike the many women in prison for domestic violence that I left behind.

I want to tell you a little about me. My name is Tina, and I am a survivor of intimate partner violence. My life did not start that way. By all accounts, I had a good upbringing. My dad was head of the household and the authority figure.

I am very artistic and creative. I love to draw, paint, do ceramics, make jewelry and generally create anything crafty. I love music of all kinds. Classical music is the music of choice when I draw with Beethoven, Mozart, and Bach as my favorites.

I like to read, write and spend time outdoors in my free time. I love history and find going to historical sights fascinating. I have a ten-year-old son, Phillip, who is my whole world. I had him late in life, and he is indeed a blessing to me. He is non-verbal and on the autism spectrum. One day I know, he will talk. I feel it and so many things when it comes to him.

I love animals and had to give up my four-year-old Shih Tzu dog, Mickey, to a family member when I went to prison. So, after serving 20 months behind bars, I was more than ready to have an animal when I was released on November 17, 2020. Now I have three cats who are named after historical figures, George, Franklin, and Eleanor.

By today’s standards, I lead a relatively “normal” life.

But that is only how it looked on the outside, looking in.

To be continued.

Note: some names have been changed for privacy.

9 thoughts on “In Her Own Words: Tina’s Story, Part 1

  1. Tina, I am so proud of you for reliving your experience in an effort to help so many other women. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers every day!!!

  2. Tina I am so proud of you.. I am so sorry you had to go through so much… I’ve known you for many many years. We knew/ saw of the abuse. We prayers you leave.but knew him.We knew he would never let you leave. We always thought.we would come in one day.and they would tell us you were dead… You have been chosen to tell your story, if your story helps one person.It needs to be told.Fly high.its yours and Phillips time to enjoy your lives.

  3. You’ve lived a life if He’ll. You deserve the best of everything. I see you moving mountains. I’ve shared your story with my daughter in hopes it keeps her aware and she can share with her friends. This needs to stop. no more abuse for women. So very proud of you and even happier your my friend. Sending love and hugs to you today, may God bless you abundantly.

  4. I’m so proud of you Tina..You and your son didn’t deserve what happened to you.I prayed for your freedom like many others and today I Praise God you are free to be with your Son and family,friends,and to tell your story.And hopefully someone that is or could be in the same situation as you were, will hear your story and it will change their path for the better.So Thankful you are still here to tell it.So sorry you and your son had to go through the hell you been through

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